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MARRIAGES in THE PAST
From The Gazette Pendle and Burnley branch lfhs August 2004 submitted by Jean Ingham

If marriages are made in heaven, why do weddings cost the earth? Present day weddings can be very elaborate expensive affairs. Bridal outfits, the wedding itself, video photographers, the reception, and then an evening reception, can amount to several thousand pounds. Eventually the happy couple honeymoon in some exotic foreign country.

Even fifty or sixty years ago most newly weds in this area were content to spend a few days, or, if they were lucky, a week on the West Coast (It looked good in the Colne Times report, but everybody knew it was Blackpool!).

Great expense was certainly not necessary in order to have a joyful occasion.

In her 'Memories of Colne' Mrs Cryer describes even earlier weddings at St.Bartholomew's in the 1850s:

"But the merriest and most picturesque weddings were those from Barrowford. First came a fiddler decorated with many coloured ribbons playing a merry tune. After him came the bridal party, as often as not a bright rosy-faced country lad and lass. If the groom had had a taste of "John Barleycorn" that morning he would jig it along the road with the best of them and the maid would daintily raise her flowered muslin and trip it by his side."

Sadly, not all marriages, however bright their start, were to end happily, as many were brought to an abrupt end by the early death of one of the partners. Research in marriage registers shows a large number of re-marriages of young widows or widowers. In the days of poor sanitation, and before the discovery of antibiotics; disease and death were never far from the door. Many family historians are amazed at how quickly after the death of a spouse a new marriage took place. Not surprising really when many had small children needing to be cared for. A typical example is Jane Rawlinson, widow of only eight months with two little girls aged 1 and 4 who married my grandfather, Thomas Graham, in 1892. In the first year of this marriage, Jane gave birth to a son and sadly, buried him one month later. 18 months later Jane herself died after giving birth to a second son. There didn't seem to be much time for mourning because within a year Thomas had remarried and found another mother for his young family. The chances are that most people understood the harsh economic reasons behind these fast courtships and re-marriages and therefore did not frown upon them.

This could not be said of marriages prohibited by kinship. Whilst it is pretty obvious that a person is not allowed to marry a parent, grandparent or sibling, in the past there were many other forbidden partnerships. For instance, until 1907 it was illegal for a man to marry his deceased wife's sister or until 1921 a woman to marry her deceased husband's brother. In 1860 such a marriage actually took place at St.James, Briercliffe. Priscilla Smith, widow, used her maiden name when she married William Duerden by licence. Somehow the Vicar discovered the truth as one week later he wrote the following underneath the marriage entry; "NB. Priscilla Smith is a false name; it should be Priscilla Duerden the marriage is ipso facto void. She having married her deceased husband's brother." It looks like somebody spilled the beans! There was a long list of these forbidden relationships, many of which no longer apply, but which were studiously avoided by our respectable Victorian ancestors.

All the more ironic therefore that during the latter half of the 19th century many couples in the Barnoldswick area thought they were married when they were not. Apparently in 1842 Reverend Milner hadn't registered the new church of St.James, Barnoldswick, Yorkshire, for marriages; making all the marriages for almost 40 years after technically invalid. A great many highly respectable Barlickers must have gone to their graves in blissful ignorance that they had been "living in sin". This situation may well have been the origin of the tale that people went to Barnoldswick to "live ower t' brush".

Life wasn't always married bliss for our ancestors, and divorce was not an option for ordinary people until the 20th century. Couples who wanted a change of partner might agree to separate and live with someone else. One unusual way of ending a marriage was for a man to sell his wife in a public place. Although strictly illegal this was not uncommon in the 18th and 19th centuries. According to 'The Annals of Colne' the last sale of a wife at the market place took place in 1815, but unfortunately no names are mentioned. This method was probably a way of amicably declaring in public the end of one relationship and the beginning of another. It would certainly have to be pre-arranged with the assent of the wife, because it would be a very brave lady who put herself forward and found NO takers!