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 Post subject: Jack Schitt
PostPosted: Thu May 22, 2008 9:50 am 
Computer Whizz
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Joined: Fri Mar 02, 2007 9:28 am
Posts: 3884
Location: Near Chorley
If this offends anyone I apologise, but I think it funny.

WHO IS JACK SCHITT?

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?
We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!'
Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an
intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer
magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had
one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple
produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull
Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high
school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt
divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were
living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known
as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a
rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six
children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout
childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual
ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the
Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and
Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

NOW when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.

Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt

NOTE: PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO ANYONE WHO NEEDS A LAUGH.
REMEMBER: LAUGHING LOWERS THE BLOOD PRESSURE.

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Gloria

I'd be dangerous with a brain.


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PostPosted: Thu May 22, 2008 11:33 am 
Librarian
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Joined: Tue Jan 22, 2008 6:08 pm
Posts: 1121
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Stephanie.


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PostPosted: Thu May 22, 2008 11:56 am 
Librarian
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Joined: Tue Jan 22, 2008 6:08 pm
Posts: 1121
How about this.

Lancashire Women.

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties to perform.

Terry had married a girl from America, and bragged that he had told his new wife to do all the dishes and house cleaning in the house.
He said that it took a couple of days, but on the third day he came home to a clean house and all the dishes were cleaned and put away.

James had married a girl from Australia and he bragged that he had given his wife orders to do all the cleaning the dishes and the cooking.
He told them the first day he did'nt see any results, but the next day it was better and by the third day his house was clean the dishes done and there was a huge meal on the table.

The third man said that he had married a Lancashire girl. He boasted that the duties he had ordered her to do were to, keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table every day.
He said the first day he did'nt see anything, the second day he did'nt see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little bit out of his left eye, enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher and call a landscaper.

Stephanie.


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PostPosted: Thu May 22, 2008 12:24 pm 
Willfinder General
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Joined: Mon Mar 19, 2007 4:51 pm
Posts: 3007
Location: Vancouver Island, Canada
I want a girl from Australia – no wait, been there, done that.


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PostPosted: Thu May 22, 2008 2:07 pm 
Spider Lady
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Joined: Thu Mar 01, 2007 9:23 pm
Posts: 8054
Location: Staffordshire
Leaver wrote:
I want a girl from Australia – no wait, been there, done that.


Naughty, naughty Kris!!

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Mel

Searching for lost relatives? Win the Lottery!


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