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Th'owd False Teeth

Ah once hed a set of owld false teeth,
Which ah kept in a box i mi drawer,
An ah geet an idea fer heving some fun,
Cos they'd bi noor good ter me onny moor.
Soor ah put em in mi pocket when ah went airt,
Ah thowt ahd teck mi wife inter tairn,
Ther wer only one pub weer wi both liked ter gooer,
Up Manchester Road, ter th'owd Roorse an Crairn
As usual it wer packed, when me an wife went in,
soor we stood talking an heving a drink,
When noorbody wer watching, ah slipped inter gents,
An left th'owd false teeth i' the sink.
Ah dairnt tell mi wife, fer mi life, what ahd done,
Soor ah sed nowt an just watched the scene,
Then ah saw a young chap come up ter the bar,
By his smile yer could tell weer he'd bin.
Ah yerd him tell barman, wi a grin on his face,
"Thers somebody hed too much to drink,
If he isn't in here he must hev goorn hoorm,
But he's left his false teeth i' the sink,
It wer really funny stood theer at bar,
Watching barman gazing all o'er the place,
Gerring 'em to talk, when they coom ter the bar,
An staring 'em reyt in the face.
After a while he gave up the task,
He sed, ""Ther's noorbody bairt teeth in here,
An if he's goorn hoorm, he's sure ter come back,"
An he went on pumping the beer.
But them teeth disappeared, noorbody knew weer,
Ah never yerd 'em mentioned onny moor,
Some chap might a tried 'em on, an fun airt they fit,
Then slipped quietly airt o' back door.
Them teeth hed bin med wi a betting office clerk,
That's true, ahm noorn saying it i' fun,
Monny a time they'd start chattering away,
When a blooming hot favourite hed won.
Ah've laughed monny time a time o'er that neet airt,
But sometimes its caused some grief,
Ah've laid i' bed wackened often at neet,
Wondering who the heck geet them owd teeth.

From 'Th' Owd Syker Looks at Life.'

_________________
Mel

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